Meanwhile back on the homefront

Hello Daddy

Bella's artwork

This is how we roll. I mean what newborn wouldn't want to play Plants vs Zombies right? 

 Bump fist with the weird big eyed pink thing.

Freezing fog makes for some awesome frosty trees.

It's a Bella-saurus 

 And Olivia with an apple. *shrug* she sure does love her apples though!

 And because I love his cute little cuddly face!

He still sings in his sleep sometimes.

 Sometimes it's hard to face the world. . . even when you're asleep. :)

We left Licoln's blanky set out so Bella made a pond out of it.

complete with snakes, frog, turtle, and a killer whale. Of course you need a whale in your frog pond!

Jaden's skeleton, 100% spelling test, and painting and story. Bella's painting and puzzle and stegosaurus tail.

 For my birthday the kids made be these darling cards. Jaden's is me in a tank with a bunch of balloons to pop.

 On the back, Bella's has balloons and Jaden's has firework launchers with fireworks.

 Sadly my old tablet wouldn't charge anymore so I got a new samsung 7 galaxy for my birthday too. I also went shopping and got some nursing clothes so I can feed this little munchkin anywhere.

Lincoln's photo shoot

At 5 days old I took these darling newborn pics.

I love sweet baby smiles. And this darling little hat that they gave us at the hospital. Much thanks to whomever made and donated it. The hospital hats never stay on my babies big heads. :)

 My favorite. :)

This one makes him look like an old man. It cracks me up.

You see a lot of newborn pics with baseballs or footballs, well I thought I'd be a little more realistic. hee.

 Well hello there!

 LOVE baby feet!

 binky love

 And of course his newborn pic with Billy. . . he's not impressed with the giant bear yet.

Lincoln's Story

Okay, before I start in on Lincoln's birth story, I'd like to give a touch of background on what it's like for me to be pregnant. Again I'd like you to know that I do feel blessed that I can get pregnant and especially so that my pregnancies have all been very healthy, but that doesn't change the fact that being pregnant makes me downright miserable.  At 4 foot 10 and a half inches tall there is little torso room for a baby to grow, but even before that 1st trimester is a huge challenge.  Morning sickness isn't the main issue. Although I do feel nauseous (or nauseated if you want to be proper ;) )  much of the time, I think I only threw up about 4 or 5 times this pregnancy. It seems I get less morning sickness with boys, however each pregnancy has been progressively  worse generally. 

I first realized when I was pregnant with Bella, my first signs of depression. I had never felt depression before and it was new to me, but my general sense of contentment that underlays my daily life was suddenly gone. This also was worse with each pregnancy. This time around 1st trimester was particularly trying as the depression crippled my ability to accomplish anything. Things that I usually enjoyed doing suddenly seemed like a chore and actual chores were becoming increasingly difficult to complete. Because I don't look pregnant it was easy for Ryan to forget I was pregnant and difficult for him to understand my sudden laziness and failure to accomplish tasks that were once simple. The other kids were always loud and bothersome and I struggled to enjoy them.  I never went to a particularly dark place in my weird pregnancy depression, I knew I wanted this baby and I knew I loved my kids, and I knew it would eventually pass, but at the time it was very difficult. 

2nd trimester was a joyful halfway relief. I could do a few things again though exhaustion certainly took it's toll on my energy. 

3rd trimester of DOOM! It may as well be another 9 months all in itself. It goes sooo slow and I get sooo big. Now my laziness had an obvious cause to anyone with eyes. Simple tasks were now physically difficult to do. Though I still managed laundry (though it took a whole week instead of two days) and dishes and lunch, and generally keeping my kiddos alive. (go me!). Ryan had to really step up and do all of his many many jobs plus mine. Needless to say he did not enjoy my pregnancy either. ;) He has done a wonderful job taking care of all of us. One day my visiting teacher brought over some stew (bless her wonderful heart)  and said she thought I could use a break from cooking dinner. I laughed a bit and told her I hadn't cooked dinner for months now, but I bet Ryan would love a break. As time progressed at a snails pace I felt very heavy. My back hips and legs were in constant pain and standing for more than 5 minutes sent fire pain shooting down my legs. I also started getting horrible side aches. Sharp pain that Tylonal wouldn't take away and all I could do is wait out the pain. Sleeping became very difficult as well as there was no way to get comfortable and my hips seemed to hurt even more when laying down. Essentially my whole pregnancy I never feel quite like myself. I'm completely uncomfortable in my own skin and it feels like for 9 months my "real" life is on hold.   

Okay so I'm whining about this so you can understand my full and utter relief  and joy at NOT being pregnant anymore! So here's Lincoln's story:

Tuesday the 6th I had my appointment with my doctor. I was dilated to 3cm and the baby had dropped all the way down into position (yeah and was CRAZY HEAVY). My due date was the 14th so a week away.  Dr. Larson said I was in position that he could induce me anytime now if I'd like. I thought about it for a bit but I figured I'd wait till his due date so we scheduled an induction on the 14th if he hadn't arrived by then. Later that night I started to regret my choice thinking how heavy this baby was and how nice and calm inductions are. I thought perhaps the next day I'd call and tell them I changed my mind and if we could schedule an earlier induction.

The next day, Wednesday the 7th I worked hard in the morning getting the kids laundry done and even put the girls' laundry away. To get 3 loads washed and 2 put away in one morning was a feat I hadn't accomplished in like a month. I was completely exhausted and sore and retired to the couch for the rest of day and forgot that I was going to call the doctor to move up my induction. But, around 4:30-5:00 I started to leak. I hate to say it, but for awhile I didn't think much of it. I'm on my 4th pregnancy and sometimes I leak, okay? However, sometimes I'd leak just standing there attempting to help with dinner, or just sitting at dinner. I didn't sneeze, I didn't laugh, I didn't cough, so this unprovoked leaking was different and I started wondering if it was my "water" leaking. 

Now you'd think being my 4th time around I'd know what it's like to have my water break right? Well my first 2 were induced so the Dr. broke my water which basically made it gush all over the hospital bed pad. (Eww). With Olivia my contractions were so hard and my water burst minutes before actually giving birth. According to my husband it was spraying the Dr. as I was pushing the baby out (umm also eww). So this little leaking was not what I was used to. 

I voiced my concern to Ryan, but he made it clear that the call was all mine since he told me to wait when I was in labor with Olivia causing us to almost have the baby in the hospital elevator. Probably wise of him to leave this decision to me. He did however look up water breaking on the internet to see if this "leaking" thing was a possibility. By what he read it sounded plausible, and by the time I'd changed my panty liner for the 3rd time, we thought it best to call the hospital to see what they thought. I was concerned about infection and since I already tested positive on the strep B which also increases the chance of infection and I didn't want to take that chance. 

The nurse at the hospital said to come in. They had a simple test to find out if it was amniotic fluid or not. So I hurried and packed my bag while Ryan took a quick shower. Ryan's mom came over to watch the kiddos. At about 6:30 we headed to the hospital. 

Once at the hospital they got me all robed up and on a baby heart monitor and contraction monitor. The nurse checked and I was still at 3 cm. she did the swab and then went "huh". To test for fluid it was to turn blue and I guess not if there was none. Well it turned green which I guess wasn't really an option. So we waited for a bit. . . .  then tested again with the same result. Still unsure the nurse said she was going to call Dr. Larson. 

Awhile later she came back and said Dr. Larson wanted her to get another sample and take it to lab to be looked at under a microscope (so much for a "simple" test :) ) 

More waiting. Good thing we had a few of our shows on like The Goldburgs and Last Man Standing.

She came back with the results that there was indeed a  pinprick rupture in my upper water sack (did anyone else know there was more than one? what? ) and the Dr. suggested I stay overnight to see if contractions break it the rest of the way and if not then they would induce me in the morning. Also they could run plenty of  penicillin through me every 4 hours to counter the Strep B. 

Knowing what was going to happen and to know that baby would be coming sooner rather than a week later was reassuring, however I was already not looking forward to a long night. Ryan made it a tad better by going and getting us some milkshakes. Yummy.

So now I'm being tied down with an IV as well. Of course that took awhile since my vain had no desire to be plugged into and kept rolling away so that even after digging around she had to take it out and try again, which in my opinion hurt quite a bit more than the epidural needle just in case you were wondering. So I remember from my experience with Olivia that they mentioned that the penicillin kinda burns going in through the IV. At the time I was minutes away from having the baby and my labor was so hard and painful I really didn't notice, this time, however, the burning was quite irritating in my arm. owee.  

So the problem with being tied down with 2 monitors, blood pressure cuff, and IV while still very very pregnant is that I had to pee pretty much ever 20 - 40 minutes. Poor nurse had to come in constantly and unplug me and help me out of bed. Eesh. Course she had to come in even more than that because my freakishly large belly made it difficult for the contraction monitor to stay on and it kept rolling up no matter how well they tried to secure it. Also, baby is very possessive of his space and really dislikes anything touching my belly so he would either kick at his heart monitor or move away so it stopped reading. Yeah we kept that nurse busy with those monitors. 

Ryan and I settled down to watch some Jurassic Park 3. Alas sleeping was not an option that night. With a million pound belly laying on my back was impossible it felt like my lungs were being crushed anytime I moved the bed down a bit, and I couldn't get comfortable on my side thanks to monitor cords and an IV.  When nothing of interest was left on TV and Ryan was asleep on the couch (which by the way was WAY more comfy than my hospital bed), I got out my tablet and watched several episodes of The Tomorrow People on Netflix. Interesting show really. It did a pretty good job at passing the night, ya know along with monitor fixing and pee breaks. And of course no noteworthy contractions at all. 

Sometime the next morning (time was rather meaningless at this point) They gave me a pill to soften the cervix. I had a few contractions but nothing serious. I mentioned that I would certainly like my epidural when they started running the pitosin, so they had the anesthesiologist come in and got my epidural all set up before they even ran the pit. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Since I wasn't really in hard labor my relief of pain really came from my hips and back that have been plaguing me for months no longer hurt. This was pretty much bliss. Well other than I'm stuck on my back because to get the epidural high enough I had to be laying down. That's okay, breathing isn't really necessary right? On top of that those stupid side aches came back and for some reason I was still feeling it. Bummer.

More waiting.  Baby's heart kept going low and I ended up on and off of oxygen to perk him up. I got a chuckle when Charmed came on, remembering that we watched a Charmed marathon while waiting for Jaden come. It was a fun little deja vu moment. Contractions started coming though not terribly consistent. at about 10-10:30ish the doctor came in and broke my water since it refused to finish breaking on its own. He estimated arrival time at about 1:15 apparently he has a pretty good record on his guesses and even bet the nurses a nickel. :) 

Finally the blissful epidural had taken away all my pain and propped up on my side a bit I was feeling comfortable enough to get some rest. . . oh and now it's time to have the baby. Figures. ;) So pushing time it was. In the past I've only had to push a few times and those babies just fell out. This time however I had to push a bit longer. Apparently someone had a rather large head, and as he got going he changed his mind about being born at all and  would have liked to have turned back. Sorry buddy no stopping now! A little less than 20 minutes of pushing and I had a baby boy! 

The swab tests we did had identified meconium (baby poo in the womb) so they had a respiration specialist on hand to suck out the baby's lungs. After doing that I got to hold him for just a bit while Ryan cut the cord and they went to clean him up and check his oxygen levels. Weighing in at 8lbs 11 ounces and 20 1/2 inches made him my biggest baby yet. No wonder I felt so freakin' heavy! And after he came out I felt much like a deflated balloon. Aww bliss :)   

He was born at 12:53 Thursday, January 8th. on a cloudy rather gloomy day. The doctor owed the nurses a nickel for being 17 minutes off. :)

Ryan and I had butted heads over names most of my pregnancy. At first I was thinking Finn, then not far in I thought Toby would be a great name. At one point I made the mistake of mentioning Ryan's choice of Lincoln when we were picking out names for Jaden.  And Ryan took Lincoln and wouldn't let it go. After awhile Bella started blessing "baby Lincoln" in her prayers and I figured I had lost the baby naming battle. So Lincoln it is. Lincoln Robert after my Grandpa Hawker. I must say it has grown on me and the idea of dressing the kid up like Link for Halloween makes me giggle a bit. :)

After a bit my Mom came and Ryan brought the kiddos. 

They were pretty happy about their new baby brother. Bella instantly wanted to hold him though Jaden was hesitant to do so. Olivia gave him a bit of love then went off to explore like the 2 year old she is. When we pointed out Lincoln's strawberry blond hair and fair skin Bella was ecstatic. Being the only blond in the family has made he feel a tad left out, now she has a solid connection to her little brother. Ya know besides blood. :) 

Ryan took the kiddos to his mom's while my mom stuck around with me. Once the epidural wore off we were moved into a bigger postpartum room. That evening Ryan's parents came to see the baby too and brought some darling blankets and outfits for him. When Ryan came back he had these pretty roses for me. They really brightened up the room.

Because of the Strep B we had to stay in the hospital for 48 hours. During that whole time my milk hadn't come in so after nursing for a bit I'd give him a bottle. The first time he took the bottle Ryan had him and the nurse was saying to only let him drink a little at a time, but by the time she had finished saying it he had already drank half the bottle. Oops. :) He didn't have any trouble with it. No spitting up and burping like a champ. No, eating would not be a problem for this guy.

A selfie with Lincoln!

When he slept he'd make the cutest little sound that the nurse called singing. I rather liked it, as it made it easy for me to know he was okay without getting up and checking on him,

Here's some pictures I took of the cute little guy. He wasn't terribly impressed with my camera.

Tiny baby feet!

I love this, Lincoln reached out and grabbed Ryan's finger and just felt like holding if awhile.

The hospital nurses took some darling pictures of Lincoln Oh my goodness I love them! By the way, all the nurses were wonderful! 

1:00 rolled around and we were still waiting on Lincoln's doctor to give us our discharge. We were getting bored in the hospital room despite watching multiple episodes of Pawn Stars and a couple Indiana Jones movies. 3, 4, and finally around 5 His doctor came in and said we could go but that he wanted to see Lincoln in one week to check his heart again which was still going up and down.  But for now it was time to bundle the baby up and take him home.

One benefit to my milk not coming in yet is that the girls can help me feed the baby. They really enjoyed that.

And here he is all cute and cuddly

Ooo sorry for the long post apparently I'm boring Lincoln too. That was quite a yawn.

Anyhow, over a week later now and we're both doing fabulous! His heart is now normal and his color was good according to the doctor. My milk has come in and baby is nursing like a pro. I've had a lot of help from wonderful family and friends from the ward. I also have been able to accomplish more than I have in a couple months. As long as I keep up on my medicine I feel pretty darn good, and even when I hurt, it's still better than being pregnant. :) I'm loving cuddling with the baby and the kiddos have been super helpful. We're all very happy to have Lincoln in our family. . . finally. :)